Why Are You Here?
by azqwest
Summary: My MerDer therapy fic for 4.12 - based on fake script making the rounds. Mark is at Joe's when Derek strolls in. Mark asks Derek why he isn't on his date with Rose.
1. Chapter 1

(This little ditty was inspired by a fake 4

(This little ditty was inspired by a fake 4.12 script making the rounds on the boards. It mentioned Derek skipping out on a date with Rose to head for Joe's, and being "satisfied" at watching Meredith turn down a hook-up engineered by Cristina. I couldn't resist doing something with it. As much as I'd love to own GA, I don't. I'm only indulging in some badly needed ongoing therapy.)

"You are good to me Joe." Mark greeted the bartender refilling his empty glass. He couldn't resist winking at the shapely brunette standing alongside him, clearly waiting for Joe. Her frosty smile indicated her card-carrying membership in the anti-Sloan club populated by the SGH nursing staff. Smiling, Mark dismissed her as he turned back to Joe. Her loss.

"I try Doc." Joe set another glass on the bar, and began filling it with scotch.

"And you're leaving me a back up? You are so the man."

"Sorry, but this is for him." Joe placed the glass down for Derek to grab as he sat down next to Mark. He did a double take, very surprised at seeing Derek in the bar tonight. He knew the 'lovebirds' had plans for which, glancing at his watch, Mark knew Derek was late.

"Why are you here drinking my scotch?"

"It's my scotch, and I'm here because I want a drink." Derek sipped his scotch, his tense body visibly relaxing as the liquid slid down his throat.

Mark perused the bar. It was crowded with hospital people he never bothered to get to know. "Where's Rose?"

"At home." The question settled over Derek like a black cloud. "Her home."

"Why aren't you with her? I thought you had a date with her meat loaf?" Mark's gag reflex kicked in. "That's her best dish? Meat loaf?"

"You loved Mom's meatloaf, so don't give me that look. I wasn't feeling up to meat loaf, so I told her I had a late surgery." Derek replied, his eyes also scanning the crowd. He wasn't feeling up to a lot of things with Rose. His lack of guilt over lying to Rose about a last-minute surgery didn't bother him. A month's worth of dates with the scrub nurse were getting to be a tiring obligation. One that he had already decided to end.

"Your Mom made damn good meatloaf, but she wasn't trying to bag a surgeon." Mark sniggered as Derek failed to be subtle as he scoped out the bar. "And she's not here."

"Who's not here?"

"So we're playing that game. You're not looking for 'her.'"

"I'm not looking for anyone," Mark didn't need to know he was here to catch a glimpse of Meredith after not seeing her all day. He had known, when he threw the words 'I can't do this any more' in her face, he never meant them. They tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. But he wanted to push her, shock her into committing to him. Four weeks with Rose – six mediocre dates and a number of lunches, dinners and coffees – reinforced the fact that he'd take Meredith any way he could get her. Whenever he could get her. He wished he could have acknowledged that before asking Rose out to dinner in a fit of anger.

"Well the person you're not looking for isn't coming in tonight." Mark leaned a bit toward Derek. Acting as if he had a big secret to share. "The person you're not looking for is doing me a favor."

Derek mentally threw in the towel. Unfortunately, Mark knew him. But what favor could she be doing for him? And why? "What favor?"

"You never called Brian back, did you?"

"I had back-to-back surgeries, so I never had a chance." Derek allowed the change of topic. He was almost thankful for it, giving his stressed brain a momentary rest from the only thing on his mind – getting back with Meredith. "I was going to call him back later tonight. Is 'Bagman' still in Chicago?" Brian had been known in their class for being able to 'bag' any female. The number bodies he left in his wake had made Mark green with envy.

"No, he's in town for a conference." A cell phone ring made both men checking their pockets. "Why the hell do we have the same ring tone?" Mark grumbled as he answered his phone. "Hey Brian!"

Derek tried to ignore Mark's side of the conversation. He needed to set his mind back onto fixing things with Meredith, undoing the damage he did, before it was too late. But it seemed their med school buddy needed to thank Mark for the...date? Did he hear that correctly? Mark provided Brian with a date for tonight?

"Yeah, she is great. I had a hell of a time convincing her to go tonight, so if I hear you didn't treat her right, I'll kick your ass back to Chi-town." Mark paused and grinned like he won the lottery. "Hell yes I'll take one! Send it to Seattle Grace."

"You set Brian up with a date tonight?" Derek put two and two together and hated coming up with four. "You set him up with Meredith?" His voice jumped up a few decibels.

"Really? Well, that's great. I'm glad you had a great time." Mark tried to push Derek and his loud mouth away, but he moved out of reach. "Hold it down, will ya?" Mark barked before turning his back on him. "Sorry Brian, Shep was yelling at the bartender for another scotch." When Derek slapped the back of Mark's head, he whipped back around. "Cut it out!" Mark glared at Derek as he kept the phone to his ear. "You don't say...?" Fed up, he made a show of continuing the conversation.

"You set Meredith up on a date!" The bitter taste of betrayal flooding Derek's system was almost too much. It easily topped the night he found Mark and Addison together. "You set her up with Bagman!" The urge to grab Mark's phone and break it in half was strong. Or should he go for Mark's neck?

"Guys, can you keep the commotion down?" Joe stood behind Mark and Derek like a disapproving parent. "And I faint at the sight of blood, so no bloodshed." When both men nodded, Joe disappeared back in the crowd.

"What the hell is your problem?" Mark snarled as he ended his call. "Why are you pissed at me?"

"You set Meredith up with Bagman!" Derek couldn't stop saying the phrase. It was permanently burned on his tongue, and in his brain, as was the image of them...together.

"I know I set her up with the Bagman. He needed a date for a dinner tonight. He didn't know any good females so he called you and me. Meredith was the only one I could think of." Mark replied. "Guess you should have called him back before I did."

"Why Meredith?" Derek wanted to slam Mark's head onto the bar top. "Why not one of your nurses?"

"Why not Meredith? It's only dinner, for pete's sake. He wanted someone who could dress, and speak, to impress some neuro bigwigs. That's Meredith." Mark spoke slowly, as if addressing a toddler. "Not a job for a nurse." Mark bit his tongue. As much as he wanted to say "not a job for Rose" he couldn't do it.

"Why not Stevens?" She was more Bagman's type. Tall, blonde and busty.

Derek was an unreasonable pain in the ass. Mark decided to kill the conversation. "Get out of my face and go stuff yourself full of meatloaf."

"Fine." Derek threw a bill on the bar.

Mark's anger needled him to get the last word in. "Bagman enjoyed their date so much, he's thanking me with a case of scotch. And by the way, she's having breakfast with him in the morning. Enjoy your meat loaf."

The parting words stopped Derek in his tracks. Meredith and Bagman. Breakfast. Were they having breakfast in bed? He had to count to ten before his feet could carry him from the bar. As he pushed his way to the door, an idea started to take on a life of it's own.


	2. Chapter 2

The hot water cascading over her soapy hands did nothing for her energy level, or mood

The hot water cascading over her soapy hands did nothing for her energy level, or mood. Meredith wasn't happy with this suddenly early surgery. Nor had she been thrilled about meeting Brian at the crack of dawn for breakfast. Sloan practically owes her his first born for this favor. Help his buddy out with a conference and dinner. 'It's neuro, maybe you'll finally learn something,' he said. But breakfast before Brian's flight wasn't included. And then to be paged into surgery before her first sip of coffee? What the hell? Mr. Dugan's craniotomy wasn't scheduled until later this afternoon.

"Dr. Grey?"

Meredith looked at the nurse who stepped into the scrub room. She exhaled, happy it wasn't his nurse. Even after a month, she didn't care to be in the same room with her.

"Dr. Sheperd is, and I quote, 'requesting the pleasure of your company.'"

The pleasure of my company? He's got to be kidding. Meredith finished scrubbing in and shouldered her way through the door into the OR. While being helped into a gown and gloves, Meredith's eyes wandered around the room, curious if Derek had requested his nurse for this surgery. Lucky for her, he hadn't.

"Dr. Grey, how nice of you to join us." Derek stood at the head of the table, his telescopic lenses trained on the open skull before him. "I apologize if we interrupted anything important this morning."

Meredith stifled a yawn as she walked toward the table. She wasn't in the mood for sarcastic Derek this morning. Nor did she want to tell him what he could do with his apology in front of the OR staff. She knew how empty his words were. And feeding the hospital gossip mill was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Late night Dr. Grey?"

"Yes, Dr. Sheperd. I had a late night." Taking her place next to him, Meredith struggled for a respectful tone. "I'm sorry I was late. I wasn't aware of the schedule change. When did it happen?"

"Late last night. I took another look at his scans and decided not to wait til the end of the day." Derek replied. "I hope the change didn't cause you to cancel anything important this morning."

Cancel? Meredith stepped closer to the table. The mask hid her slight smile. Brian had turned out to be pretty entertaining, and swore a blue streak when her pager went off at 6 a.m., at the precise moment the waitress approached the table to take their order. "Nothing was cancelled. I was able to reschedule."

"Reschedule?" Derek didn't like the sound of that. Breakfast was supposed to be cancelled and Brian's ratty ass on the plane back to Chicago never to return.

"Why would you assume I had...something to do this morning? I could have been in bed sleeping."

"Were you?"

"What?"

"In bed this morning."

Meredith noticed even the OR staff shared strange looks amongst each other. Crap. Everyone heard him. While she wanted to ask him where he was this morning, Meredith kept her mouth shut. She could guess where he was, and she didn't want to think about it.

"Well?" Impatiently waiting for her answer, Derek turned his head towards her. The slight downward tilt of his head caused his eyeware to slip past the crooked bridge of his nose. Angry blue met cool green. Without a thought, Meredith reached up and gently pushed his glasses back into place. Realizing what she had done, Meredith stepped back. And not sure why she did so, she looked up. At the gallery. Sitting alone, hovering above them like some avenging spirit, was Rose.

Meredith stepping back broke the spell. Derek blinked. In that second, it had been only the two of them. Meredith and Derek. With none of her issues. And none of his stupidity. Now they were back to being what they were – a mess. The look on Meredith's face caused him to also look up. Rose smiled and waved, tossing a handful of M&Ms into her mouth. 7 a.m. and Rose was eating candy. Shaking his head in disgust, Derek continued his work, finishing up another flawless procedure. He wished his personal life could be that perfect.

Relieved to not be sharing the same surgical space as Derek and his nurse, Meredith scribbled in Mr. Dugan's chart, trying to ignore the not-too-quiet conversation of the nurses behind the desk. She tried to calculate how much time she could spare to grab a large coffee when the words "McDreamy" and "reschedule" snagged her unwilling attention.

"Can you believe it? McDreamy rescheduled for this morning to make sure he didn't miss another date with Rose."

"She said he felt awful about canceling on her last night. Especially since she had dinner ready for him."

Meredith was remotely surprised the pen didn't snap in her white-knuckled grip. Was she hearing correctly? Derek moved the surgery to early this morning so he could make their date tonight?

"Dr. Grey..."

Meredith reluctantly spared him a sideways glance as she finished updating the chart. He looked tired, and unfortunately for her libido, good. Why he was smiling at her, she didn't know, or care at that point. Flipping the chart closed, Meredith slid it towards Derek. "I must say, Dr. Sheperd, how inspirational it is to work with a surgeon who has his priorities in order."

"Uh, thank you, Dr. Grey." Slightly frowning, Derek didn't know how to respond to her comment. He wondered where it had come from. Leaning against the counter, he watched Meredith's scrub-clad figure as she walked quickly down the hall. Sighing, Derek opened the chart, and thought of how he could make Meredith talk to him about starting over. Again. For keeps.

"Dr. Sheperd?" An older nurse quietly addressed him.

"Yes?" Derek gave the woman an empty smile as he added his notes to what Meredith had already written.

"I wanted to tell you how much your romantic gesture impressed Rose and us."

Romantic gesture? That had his full attention. "What romantic gesture," Derek read the nameplate pinned to her white cardigan, "are you talking about Gladys?"

"Why you moving the surgery to this morning so you don't miss Rose's home cooked meal tonight! She was so sad you had to cancel last night. This was a great way to make it up to her." Gladys almost sparkled in her admiration for Derek's 'gesture.' "My Harold needs to learn from you." Reaching across the counter to squeeze his arm, Gladys turned back to the other nurses, who were also smiling happily at Derek.

With a heavy heart, Derek looked to where he had last seen Meredith. No wonder she was walking quickly away. He was amazed she didn't run. Shit. How did Rose know about the reschedule? And they hadn't discussed any plans for tonight. Only plan he had for Rose was to end things and quickly. Torn between anger at Rose's bending the facts and dismay for Meredith hearing the twisted version of events, he was in dire need of caffeine. He headed off down the hall when someone fell in step beside him.

"Hey Romeo."

"Shut up Mark." Derek growled.

"So you moved up the surgery for Rose? So you could eat her meatloaf tonight?" Mark sipped his coffee while increasing his stride to match Derek's as they wove their way through the heavy morning hallway traffic. "Why don't I think of shit like that? You have the nursing staff eating out of your hands right now." Mark laughed. "I should try that. It might end the strike."

Derek punched the call button for the elevator with more force than necessary. "That's not why I did it." He grabbed Mark's coffee and drained it before handing the empty cup back to Mark.

"Hey, that was my coffee." Mark grumbled, shaking the empty cup before tossing it in a nearby trashcan.

Damning the elevator for taking too long, Derek abruptly turned for the stairwell. The door flew open and slammed into the wall. "Go away Mark."

"You're still mad at me? I'm the one who should be mad! You hit me!"

"You're lucky I didn't break your damn neck." Derek jogged down the flights of stairs toward the main floor. "You're lucky I don't throw you down the stairs right now."

"Because of Meredith and Brian?"

Derek stopped and blocked Mark. "How could you set her up with the biggest manwhore outside of Seattle?"

"I set her up with a colleague who needed a suitable escort to a professional function."

"Then why the hell did she have breakfast with him this morning?"

"Cause she was hungry? How the hell am I supposed to know?" Mark asked. "Besides, why are you even bothering with this?" He knew why Derek was bothering with this. He also knew Derek needed to admit it. To himself and out loud.

Derek spun around and continued down the stairs. He really needed that coffee. He really needed to get away from Mark.


	3. Chapter 3

(Much appreciation for the comments! I don't own GA. If I did, I wouldn't be biting my nails waiting for 4.12.)

"Give me the largest coffee you have," Meredith begged the clerk manning the counter. The coffee kiosk on the hospital's main floor seriously beat the cafeteria-supplied dark water. It was worth the extra steps and time, and the trek gave Meredith a few needed minutes to herself.

"You never did answer my question."

"And I'm not going to." Meredith glanced over her shoulder, surprised to find Derek behind her. Standing close behind her. It's the closest they've been in weeks. What was he doing, and why? "And stop following me." Go follow your nurse.

"Why not?" Derek couldn't help himself. He had to inhale. He missed her lavender and its calming effect. "And I'm not following you. I really need coffee. You just happen to be here."

"Because I'm not." Meredith pulled a few singles from her pocket to pay for her coffee. Of course she was in bed this morning. Why wouldn't she be? Having driven herself home after dinner with Brian and, exhausted, she went straight into bed. Meredith still wasn't sure how Brian managed to talk her into breakfast before his early flight back to Chicago. He had been entertaining and charming during dinner, but she wasn't interested in seeing more of him. She should have been, but she wasn't. She wasn't interested in seeing anyone.

"I've got it." Derek cautiously nudged Meredith's hand out of the way to lay a few bills on the counter. "And I'll take a large coffee."

Before Meredith could tell Derek to keep his money, the clerk studied Meredith's nametag. "There's no charge for her coffee." She handed Meredith a large Styrofoam cup.

"What?" Confused, Meredith removed the lid. "Why not?"

"It's already paid for."

"By whom?" Someone was buying Meredith coffee? In bulk? Derek ignored the little voice reminding him that he had walked away from her. He was walking back and didn't like it.

"Don't know, but she gets free coffee for a month, or until the money runs out."

Til it runs out? Derek had to know what the fuck was going on. He told the little voice to shut up. "How much money?"

Wondering why Dr. Sheperd's jaw looked ready to break, the clerk consulted the yellow post-it note stuck to the side of the cash register. "A hundred bucks."

"What?" Meredith wasn't sure she heard the clerk correctly. She had a prepaid coffee tab worth a hundred dollars? Who in the hell would do that? And why? She knew it couldn't have been Derek. At least she didn't think it could have been him. She refused to hope it could be him.

"Is that all you can say?" Derek asked. "Is that honestly all you can say?"

"It's all I can say." Hope fell like a cement block as Meredith reached across the counter for the note. Dated for today, it held her name and the amount. Clearly, it wasn't Derek. Meredith kicked herself for hoping it had been him, when it would have been so out of character for 'Dr. Who's Ready Right Now.' Besides, he was too busy rescheduling a surgery to make room for his date with the nurse. "Sorry about that." With an apologetic smile, Meredith handed the note back to the clerk. "Could you also add the names Yang, Karev, Stevens and O'Malley to that?"

"Meredith..."

Meredith drew a deep, bracing breath. She wished they could have a conversation, for once, not filled with anger and mistrust. "What is it, Dr. Sheperd?" Damn, how she missed him.

"Meredith, we need to..."

"You need to stop rearranging my schedule around your freaking love life." Meredith cut him off. She still couldn't stomach seeing the two of them around the hospital. She had ached to curl up in a ball and cry when Cristina laughed about the engagement ring spotted dangling around the nurse's neck. 'Bring your own ring when you're with McDreamy,' she had cracked. Meredith felt like cracking into millions of tiny pieces.

"I didn't..."

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need a word with you." With a nod to Meredith, Dr. Richard Webber grasped Derek's arm. "About the surgery schedule."

"Can't this wait Richard, I need to finish my conversation with Dr. Grey."

"No Shep, this can't wait."

Meredith's pager demanded her presence elsewhere. Derek sadly watched her jog away as Richard continued talking to him. "Please tell me what I heard about you moving a surgery to impress a nurse isn't true."

"It isn't true."

"Are you telling me the truth?"

"Yes it's the truth." Frowning, Derek turning to face Richard, looking him straight in the eye. "Why are you questioning my word?"

Sighing, Richard glanced in the direction Meredith had taken. "I've heard things."

Derek followed his line of sight. "Things are...complicated."

"Things are only as complicated as you make them, Derek." Richard replied. "So uncomplicated them, and stop using my surgery floor as your dating tool."

"I'm not using it as a dating tool." Derek motioned for Richard to follow him across the hallway, away from the alert ears of the clerk slowly refilling her Styrofoam cup stock. "Look, I do owe you an apology about the schedule, but I'm not using it to impress Rose."

Richard suddenly felt tired. "Why did you do it?"

In the clear light of day, outside the haze of his anger, Derek hated the embarrassment sweeping through his system. Last night it seemed so simple. It had been the right thing to do. "I'm not sure how to explain this..."

"You know, I'm probably better off not knowing. But Derek," Richard's voice took on a serious tone. "I know there's no way to stop the staff from talking, but you need to stop giving them so much material."

"I know that Richard."

"No, you don't." Richard shook his head. "I know Meredith can be, like you said, complicated..."

"My relationship with Meredith isn't your business."

Richard's spine straightened at Derek's words, his body inflated by indignation. "The hell it isn't. That girl is my responsibility. I've sat back the past few weeks, watching her walk the halls, with a lot of pain in her eyes but head held high, while you make time with your nurse. Meredith had the same look while you were working things out with Addison..."

"I love her." Derek briefly closed his eyes against the pain. The little voice went to work again, pointing out his choices of Addison and Rose, and congratulating Derek on showing Meredith how much he loved her.

"The nurse?"

"No, Meredith."

"Then what the hell are you doing to her?"

Derek wished he had an intelligent answer to that. "I'm going to fix things. Once and for all."

"Make it once and for all Derek. You have to stop this back-and-forth." Richard ordered. "For her sake."

Everything inside him screamed at Richard to mind his own business, once and for all. But the man was looking out for Meredith. When he hadn't been. "I will."

"Well alright then." Slapping Derek once on the back, a satisfied Richard left the coffee shop. He was off to handle the next crisis on his list.

His coffee now cold, Derek walked back over to the kiosk to order a fresh cup. His upcoming talk with Rose called for a hot shot of caffeine.


	4. Chapter 4

Slightly breathless, Meredith stood in the doorway of Exam Room 1. "Did you page me?" She downed the lukewarm remains of her coffee and trashed the empty cup, the mystery of the generous coffee tab tucked firmly in the back of her mind. And the disappointment of Derek's non-involvement in the mystery lingered against her will.

Mark nodded, carefully removing protective gauze bandages from the badly lacerated cheek of the 15-year-old girl seated on the exam table. "I see you got your coffee."

"That was you?" If asked, she couldn't describe her feelings in that moment. She wasn't sure if she was feeling much of anything.

"I value my pretty face too much to buy you that much of anything." Mark corrected her. "I was instructed to do it." He gently angled the girl's face for a better view of her injury.

Meredith stepped into the room, smiling at the poor girl stuck in the middle of their conversation. She knew they should change the subject, but curiosity overrode her professional common sense. "So what do you know?"

"Brian." Mark grinned, as if he was enjoying some inside joke, as he continued the exam. "Let's say you made an impression. He was disappointed breakfast was interrupted, and pissed off by Shep's page. He didn't want you to forget him since he swears he's coming back to claim his breakfast raincheck."

"I'm pretty pissed off too." Mark's reference to Brian's return skated unnoticed through one ear and out the other but the pain at how Derek went out of his way to impress Rose almost bent her in half. Meredith couldn't remember him doing anything similar for her. Would choosing other women over her count? "Derek's actions with his nurse shouldn't be affecting my work schedule."

"They're not." After telling his patient he'd be back in a few minutes, Mark pulled off his gloves and threw them in the trashcan as Meredith followed him from the room.

"Yes, they..."

Mark hesitated, as if making a spur-of-the-moment decision. He walked Meredith into an empty conference room, closing the door behind him. "Trust me Meredith, Derek's actions with the nurse are not affecting your schedule. He bumped the surgery for you, not her."

"For me?" Denial swiftly replaced confusion, crushing hope. Meredith refused to believe the line of bull Mark was feeding her. Did he really think she would buy into it? "You are wrong." Ignoring the chairs surrounding the conference table, Meredith took a seat on the tabletop. Folding her arms across her chest, Meredith resembled the poster child for skepticism.

"I know Derek. He wasn't happy when I told him about the favor, and he went ballistic when he heard about your breakfast date." Mark took a seat on the tabletop next to Meredith. He was unapologetic. "You were the only suitable available female I could think of."

"You do remember Derek and I are not together anymore?" Meredith pointed out the obvious, asking herself if they ever really were together. "He's with her. He's not owed any explanations about my time outside of this place." She shifted on the table, anxious to end the conversation and escape the room.

"All I know is he came into Joe's last night minus the nurse. I knew he had dinner plans with her, but he was in there looking for you. So, I told him why he was wasting his time."

Meredith forcibly snuffed out the small ray of hope radiating behind her heart. It has caused her too many disappointments in the past. "He's moved on with her. Derek wanted someone ready for his master plan right now. I wasn't." Thinking of his stunt with the house plans and that damn kiss made Meredith's eyes water. She blinked the moisture away.

"Derek hasn't moved on. He's panicking. He's drowning in his denial and stupidity."

"He wants what he wants now. And he wants it with the nurse." Meredith argued. Actually he'll take any female with a pulse, but then so would Mark. "Is he happy?"

"What?"

"Is he happy with her?" Waiting for his answer had Meredith biting hard the inside of her lip. A little more pain didn't matter now.

"He may think he is, but I know better."

"But its what he thinks that counts. And if he thinks he's happier with her..." Meredith avoided looking at Mark as she slid off the table. "Then he's happy. I want him to be happy. Do you need me for anything else?" The need to end this conversation was too great.

Frowning, Mark stood up. Meredith's calm acceptance of Derek's assy behavior wasn't what he expected. "No." He needed to talk some sense into her. "Do you want to hit Joe's tonight? Get a drink?"

Inching her way to the door, Meredith politely smiled as she declined. "Thanks, but no thanks. I have a thing tonight."

"Tomorrow night?" She was making him feel anxious, which was nuts. Derek should be feeling anxious over her, not him. "Drinks?"

"Can't. I'm off the next two days. I'll be out of town. Maybe when I get back." With a firm wave, Meredith walked out the door. Loosening her tense muscles once Mark was out of sight, she headed down the hall on limbs made from limp noodles. Later on, she wouldn't remember finding the dark utility closet, or sitting on its hard floor for three-quarters of an hour allowing the tears to stream down her face til they ran dry.


	5. Chapter 5

(_Many, many thanks for the comments! And as usual, I don't own GA. If I did, I wouldn't be biting my nails over 4.12._)

The nursing staff sighed quietly amongst themselves as Derek leaned against their counter while he waited for Rose. At the end of a long workday, this was one perk they enjoyed thanks to Rose – taking in 'The Lean' up close and almost personal. They didn't care that Dr. McDreamy was full of impatience as he raked his hand through 'The Hair' for the third time in five minutes. He still looked good.

Derek decided to give her one more minute. He lost the day to multiple surgeries, and was due to meet Mark at Joe's at the end of his shift. Instinctively preferring a large glass of scotch to the woman he's been dating for the last month was a sign this should have ended sooner. Hell, he realized it never should have begun. But he had to see it through. And it was. Through.

"Derek!" Rose hurried toward him, scrub-clad and carrying an insulted lunch bag. His reaction was slight, but Derek cringed as she loudly called out his name. Looking around, he sees her call out attracted some attention, including smiles from the other nurses. Damn it.

"What's this?" Perplexed, accepted the bag she shoved into his hands and kiss on his cheek.

"Dinner from last night. Well, it was lunch for you, but since it's late dinner has come full circle." Rose laughed at her own joke. "Meatloaf sandwich. I meant to get this to you in time for lunch, but it's been a busy day." She wasn't sure if she should point out that after his first surgery she ran home and packaged the lunch for him.

Her laughter fell flat with Derek as he held the lunch bag in his hands. Feeling the eyes and ears of the nurses' station staff upon them, he wanted to move their conversation to more private territory. Rose was a nice woman and didn't deserve a public dumping. The little voice piped up, asking how Meredith deserved it. But before Derek could open his mouth, Rose threw herself against him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. "Moving your surgery was the most romantic thing ever to happen to me." She sighed into the side of his neck, brushing her lips against the line of his jaw.

Derek pulled Rose's arms from around his neck, feeling the urge to wipe away the sticky residue left by her lips on his skin. "Thank you, for the sandwich."

"So, what are we doing tonight?" Rose leaned against counter, enjoying the show she and Derek were putting on for her co-workers. She heard their snickers when they started dating, and the pools. They all said it wouldn't last. It's been four weeks and 48 surgeries later. And how could they doubt him, after this morning? She reached for his hand, and linked their fingers together. Well, she'd show them.

Earlier Rose had vented to Olivia her disappointment over Derek canceling their date, but stressing how busy the neurosurgeon was, his early morning surgery case in point. When Olivia commented she'd heard that surgery had been moved up, and how nice of Dr. McDreamy to move it to make room their makeup date, Rose practically swooned. Of course! He must have missed her as much as she missed him. Rose ignored the hint of sarcasm in Olivia's voice, of course. She knew Olivia was jealous because Dr. McDreamy dropped Dr. Grey like a hot potato to go out with her. After all, he kissed her in the scrub room while he was still having sex with the good doctor. Like anyone would want to go out with the Syph Nurse. Well, maybe Dr. Sloan. Anyway, she realized Dr. McDreamy was living up to his well-deserved name. She smiled at Derek as they stood in front of the nurses' station, her free hand strayed to the engagement ring she still wore around her neck. Her fingers toyed with the small diamond while she thought about the beautiful children she and Derek would have together. She'd been having such happy thoughts since she watched Derek operate early this morning.

"About tonight, Rose."

"Are we going back to your trailer?" Rose squeezed his hand and hesitated, making sure her co-workers heard the word 'trailer.' "I can meet you there, and you can show me the rest of those amazing house plans."

A coughing noise caused Derek's shocked attention to turn around. He wasn't sure if the distressed figure of Dr. O'Malley doubled over, clutching the counter like a lifeline, was hallucination, or part of the really bad dream he was trapped in. One look at George's watery eyes and red, stunned face knew he couldn't be lucky enough for this to be a bad dream.

Her pager beep ticked Rose off. She was enjoying the attention her co-workers were giving her moment with Derek. From a few envious glances she noticed, Rose realized no one had ever seen Derek touch her while they were at work. It was time to show them she wasn't a rebound girl but a future neurosurgeon's wife. Ignoring Dr. O'Malley, she grasped Derek's chin and moved his face back to her. Rising up on tiptoe, Rose pressed a kiss against his mouth. "I gotta run. I'll see you at your trailer in a few hours." Waving to the audience behind the counter, Rose jogged down the hall.

"Is she talking about," George gasped. "The same plans you showed Meredith?" His breaths weren't coming easy.

Derek stood still as George slowly uprighted himself. He couldn't bring himself to say a word. Everything moved surreally slow around him. "George, don't say anything to Meredith."

The bright rosy hue faded from George's face. "You did! You showed her the same plans!"

"Not...intentionally." Derek shoved both hands through his hair. How could he be so cursed as to have O'Malley within listening distance once again. Feeling guilty when he shouldn't, Derek went on the defensive. "Don't you have anything better to do than listen in on my private conversations?"

"It's not my fault, Dr. Sheperd, that you stood here, in front of the nurses' station with your girlfriend, while I'm responding to a page." George's frosty reply raised the eyebrows of the few nurses brave enough to observe. "You should be more careful in covering up your tracks."

"I'm not covering up any tracks, Dr. O'Malley." Derek heard the nasty words coming out of his mouth, but he couldn't stop the verbal diarrhea. His hate for this man and the hell he's caused was intense. "And you need to grow up and stop running to Meredith with everything you overhear."

George froze. The nurses' interest in his reaction was sharp. They reminded him of a bunch of hungry sharks waiting for a chunk of bloody meat. He was damned if it was coming from his hide. "Have a good evening, Dr. Sheperd."

Derek watched George disappear into the patient's room across from the nurses' station. Before he could give his action any thought, Derek followed George, stopping inside the doorway. He only knew he had to do something. "Dr. O'Malley, could I see you for a moment?" Without waiting to see George's reaction, Derek stepped back out into the hallway.

Nodding to his patient, George trailed Derek out of the room. He stood rigidly before the older man. "I hope this is work related, Dr. Sheperd."

"Look," Derek spoke low and insistently. "She was in my car the same time those plans were. She saw them and looked." He didn't add that as soon as Rose unrolled the plans, Derek reclaimed them, tossing them into his back seat where she found them. He had to make George understand that Rose really didn't see the plans. "That's all there was to it."

"What ever you say Dr. Sheperd."

The blank look on George's face made the bottom fall out of his world. He didn't believe Derek and didn't want to call his boss a liar. At least to his face.

George disappeared back into his patient's room. Derek wanted to drag George back out by the collar of his lab coat, toss him into the nearest empty closet, and beat the hell out of him. Instead, he managed to find his way to his office and the bottle of scotch waiting for him in his bottom desk drawer. Mark wouldn't care if he stood him up. But he needed a shot of alcohol before heading home to his trailer. Hell or high water, he would finish his conversation with Rose.


	6. Chapter 6

(Much love and appreciation for the comments. I'm trying something a little different here – three things going on at the same time. I hope that comes across clearly. And as usual, I'm only borrowing Shonda's characters for my own therapy. And if anyone missed 4.12. Watch it! S1 Mer is back. Go Mer!)

"Give me a shot of tequila Joe." George called out angrily, slamming his backside on the bar stool with such force he almost flew off it. He clutched the bar edge as the stool rocked beneath him. His shirt and jeans looked thrown on, and his wild hair in need of a brush. Calm, cool and collected would not be the words to describe him tonight.

Joe reached for a shot glass and bottle, his furrowed brow indicating his confusion. "Are you channeling Meredith tonight George?"

"What?"

"Tequila isn't your normal poison."

"It is tonight." The conversation between Sheperd and his nurse bounced around in his brain. He needed to flush it out. Drown it out. "Leave me the bottle." George sat hunched over, clearly in misery, his eyes trained on the bar top. "Please."

Joe lifted the glass bottle, tilting it so the remaining inches of liquid sloshed around. "You sure?" At George's terse nod, he set it down. Joe reached under the counter for a fresh bottle. George looked so down in the mouth, he felt uncomfortable leaving him alone. "What's wrong George?"

"I can't say." He dearly wanted to stand on top of the bar, and yell for everyone to hear what a McAss McDreamy was, but he couldn't lift himself off the stool. "I can't."

"If you change your mind and need an ear, lemme know." With reluctance, Joe moved on to other customers.

George nodded. He needed to dump this dirt off on someone else and get it off his shoulders. Meredith really should know about McAss's latest stunt, but why him? Why did he always have to be the bearer of bad news? True, he could keep his mouth shut, but it wasn't fair to Meredith to be left in the dark about McAss and the goddamn plans.

"Who killed your puppy Bambi?" Cristina leaned against the bar as she waited for Joe. George's disheveled appearance tweaked her curiosity. This could be entertaining.

"McAss."

"What?"

"You heard me." George reached for his bottle. His movement caused Cristina's eyes to widen.

"Damn George. You and José?"

"How long has he been seeing the nurse?"

Cristina ordered a pitcher of beer. "About four weeks, and what did McAss do your puppy?"

"When I tell you what I'm about to tell you, it becomes your problem. It's no longer mine." George studied the golden liquid as it fell from the bottle into his shot glass. "Cause I can't do that to her again. She needs to know, but I can't do it."

"Speak George, before I kill you for irritating the hell out of me."

"He showed them to her."

"I'm counting to five, and then you're a goner." Cristina held up the pitcher and glasses, ready to use them as weapons. "And I won't bother making it look like an accident."

"McAss. He showed the house plans to his nurse." George muttered, throwing back another shot, ignoring Cristina's sharp gasp. "I heard them talking. Again." The throat burn wasn't as intense this time. Passing his burden off to Cristina didn't help as he hoped it would. The sound of their voices followed him. He had to make them go away, but the empty bottle mocked him. He yanked the pitcher out of Cristina's hand and brought it to his mouth, gulping thirstily.

It didn't take long for Cristina to rescue her pitcher, leaving George coughing and dripping beer from his nose. Setting the near-empty pitcher on the counter, Cristina ordered a fresh one and instructed Joe to put it on George's tab. "Where did you hear this, Bambi?"

Her tone reminded George of his kindergarten teacher. "5th floor nurses' station."

"You have nothing to worry about. Let nature take its course. It will spread through the hospital faster than your syph. It will get back to Mer." Cristina lifted the fresh pitcher. "And if you ever touch my beer again Bambi..." Her threat dangled in the air as she returned to a waiting Izzie at a nearby table.

_(Meanwhile, back at the trailer...)_

Her single knock on the door caused Derek to suck in a deep breath, exhaling as she entered his trailer. Rose's 'one knock before barging in' habit irritated him. And between the knock and door slam, her loud entrance almost split open his aching head. "Hey," Derek tossed over his shoulder as he stood in the kitchen sipping a cup of coffee. Now the shot of scotch he snuck in before leaving the hospital seemed counter productive. The welcome mind-numbing slight buzz had to disappear and fast.

With Derek's back to her, Rose slid her arms around his waist. And held on tight. Her 'Hi' was muffled against the white cotton of his shirt as she pressed a kiss to his back. She smiled as she viewed her bright pink lip print. She'd offer to get the lipstick out later.

Griping her wrists and gently removing her arms from his body, Derek feared his surgical rescheduling was causing the clinginess today. It was more than her usual routine. "Rose," Derek gestured toward the kitchen table. "Please sit down."

"Is anything wrong?" Blindly reaching an arm behind her, Rose stumbled her way into the chair. She didn't like the sound of this.

"Yeah." Derek moved to the other side of the table, which given the small area of the kitchen didn't put enough space between them. "I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

Derek rubbed his eyes. Like his head, they hurt. "Us."

"Why?" Rose questioned. "I thought we were fine. We are fine."

"I'm sorry, but we're not." Derek sighed. "You're a wonderful woman, an amazing nurse, but..."

"But I'm not Meredith Grey." Rose cut in.

"You're not Meredith." Derek agreed. He ripped off the band-aid. No anesthesia. "And I love Meredith."

"You can love me. Give me enough time and you will!" Rose wasn't afraid to beg. "Please tell me what I did wrong. I can change!"

"I'm sorry Rose. I never should have started this." He sadly shook his head in response to her offer. Derek knew he could try until they were 110 and his feelings wouldn't change. He loved Meredith. Looking back, he had known the moment she walked into Joe's wearing that black dress she was something. A big 'something.' And at light speed she grew into 'it' from there. The pain in his head quadrupled as his train of thought slammed into a brick wall. The wall that said 'I can't do this anymore' because he was ready and she wasn't. Because he was afraid she would never be ready. Because he pushed Meredith to be what he wanted on his terms, and when she pushed back with her terms – he walked away. Hell, he pushed her to the side as he walked. "You didn't do anything wrong. I did. I was wrong to do this." So damn wrong.

_(Meanwhile, about 100 miles away on the Washington State Coastline...)_

It was her third visit, and the loss of valuable surgical time was regrettable, but once Meredith made the decision, this commitment came first. It had to. Sitting back on the camel-colored sofa in the open and airy living room, Meredith sipped her glass of water. While the neutral color palette was soothing, the discovery of another Ellis 'surprise' still had her mind spinning. "Why do you think she never told me?"

"About what?"

"About you." Meredith addressed the woman seated next to her.

Dr. Danielle Nicholas shrugged her shoulders. Her mother's contemporary, Danielle was tall and sleek in an She-Sheperd kind of way but much more approachable. Chin-length dark brown hair streaked with gray, black jeans and a thin charcoal sweater completed the casually elegant picture of the psychiatrist and her living room.

"She wanted a clean break. When she left for Boston, with you in tow, I never heard from her again."

"But I'd have thought she'd mention you at some point."

"Not Ellis," Danielle disagreed. "Once she cuts you from your life, that's it. She was black and white. No gray area, nothing in between."

"You'll be happy to know some things never changed with her." Meredith's lips formed a smile was almost reminiscent. The smile's hint of sadness almost encouraged Danielle to hug the younger woman. Not a normal treatment in a psychiatric session.

"Nor with your dad, from what you've said."

"You mean Thatcher?"

"Yes."

"So you know, I don't use either the 'd' or 'f' words to describe him. He's Thatcher, and I've apparently inherited his best traits. Snoring like a trucker, and now most likely his addictive personality."

"He did pass along something good."

"I can't think of anything." Sometimes Meredith wondered if even his sperm donation had been something positive.

"Your personality is the polar opposite of your mother's. It had to come from somewhere." Needing to express some form of comfort, Danielle reached for Meredith's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "It survived Ellis. Think about it."

"Well, I'm still finding it hard to believe that I have a godmother." The break in Meredith's voice tugged at Danielle's heart. The older woman enfolded Meredith in her arms, waiting for her stiff figure to relax in her embrace. Embarrassed, Meredith eased back, taking a swipe at her wet cheeks. "Sorry about that."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Danielle smiled as she stood, picking up their empty glasses. "It's late, and I know you're tired. Why don't you go up and crawl into bed? We can continue our session in the morning over breakfast before you drive back to Seattle."

Meredith also stood up. The emotional toll of these sessions always left her drained. She was thankful for the bed Danielle provided. Staying overnight was much easier than driving the two hours back to Seattle in the same day. Danielle's home on Washington State's Pacific Coast was turning into more than just scheduled sessions with a psychiatrist. It was hope.

"Danielle?"

"Yes?"

"I wish I had known about you sooner."

Meredith was surprised to see the moisture filling the older woman's eyes. "I wish you had too."

Thank you for reading...


	7. Chapter 7

[Wow. I really lost track of time. Between a heavy workload and Shonda killing my interest in the show, my fics got away from me. I appreciate everyone reading, and those leaving comments. As usual, I wish I owned a piece of the show, but I don't.]

"Gimme an espresso, and throw it on Grey's tab." Mark directed the coffee clerk. Since he funded the tab, he figured he was entitled. Especially since Brian, with his trip delayed, asked him to cough up another hundred bucks to refill Meredith's coffee.

"Can't afford your own coffee?" Derek grumbled from his place in line behind Mark. Last thing he wanted early in the morning was to be reminded of Bagman's existence.

"I don't have any cash on me, and besides, I fronted Bagman the money for this so it's really my coffee." Mark grabbed his cup and stepped aside, waiting as Derek ordered his coffee. "Do you think 40% interest is too much?"

"Large black coffee, and unlike Dr. Sloan, I'm paying for mine." Derek tossed a couple of singles on the counter. "On what?"

"$200 bucks." Mark watched his friend, waiting for the significance of the amount to sink in. He didn't hide his grin when a frowning Derek turned to him. This was too much fun.

"Two hundred..." Derek paused. "That's her coffee tab times two."

"He begged me to give her a refill." Mark sipped his espresso, savoring the caffeine rush too much to give any thought to his miniscule twinge of guilt at needling Derek. Besides, he liked Meredith and Derek deserved a kick in the ass for being an ass.

"Hell, charge him double." Grabbing his coffee, his anger pushing Derek towards the elevators at the end of the lobby at a rapid speed. "Better yet, quadruple it." He could care less if Mark kept up with him or not.

"And it's been three days since you've ditched the candy-sucking, meatloaf-making nurse." Mark commented, his long stride easily keeping up with Derek's rapid steps. "I thought you and Meredith would be patched up and horizontal by now."

"I'm working on it.' He really was. Since Rose tearfully left his trailer the other night, his thoughts had been full of Meredith and how he could win her back. But he was still stuck on how to undo all the damage his impatience caused, pondering how to ask a woman you've walked away from twice for a third chance?

Mark's low whistle attracted some attention. "I hope you are. You've got some serious groveling to do. You didn't tell her about the kiss. You took Rose out to dinner a few hours after you dumped her, and I bet she's heard how you pushed that surgery back for Rose." His grin was wide. "The list goes on."

"I appreciate the support, Mark." Picturing Brian's face, Derek knuckled the elevator call button. Hard. "You've been very helpful throughout it all."

Noticing the growing crowd of people also waiting for the elevator, Mark pulled Derek aside, away from the metal doors. "How bad do you want this?"

"What?"

"Meredith. The house. The little rugrats, including a boy named for his Uncle Mark. How badly do you want it?"

"I want Meredith more than life itself." His time with Rose confirmed this. Hell, he knew it before Rose. He knew it before Addison's arrival in Seattle. House and kids would be icing on their cake. But he wanted Meredith. Why or how he lost sight of that, he'd never know.

"Are you sure?" All hints of humor left Mark's expression. "Are you absolutely sure?"

Derek couldn't understand Mark's change in tone or the grave look on his face. "I can't believe you're asking me this."

"You've walked away from her twice. That's not the behavior of wanting someone 'more than life itself,'" Mark slowly sipped his espresso, pausing before asking his next question. "Are. You. Sure?"

"Yes!" Derek's gaze narrowed, his eyes hard as he met Mark's frowning glare. "What the hell is your problem?"

Mark counted to three before opening his mouth. "The problem is that I've grown a little fond of Meredith. I like her. I don't want to see her hurt. Again. And if that happens, I'll have to hurt you."

"You've grown 'fond' of Meredith?" Derek's voice caught on the word. "You like Meredith? And you'll hurt me if I hurt her again?" He carefully sniffed the contents of his coffee cup, wondering what alternate universe he had fallen into. "You're actually telling me - to my face - that you like my girlfriend when we have a bad history with women?"

"Yes." Mark's response was immediate and strong.

"Just how 'fond' are you?" Derek bit out. "And when did you become so 'fond'?" A vile and incomprehensible image filled his head. The thought brought a surge of rage so intense, so complete, Derek was seconds away from splitting open Mark's skull with his bare hands.

Mark ignored the terse questions and finished his espresso. Crushing the cup in one hand, he tossed the remains into a nearby trashcan. "You don't know how many times I've had to listen to Yang discuss the different ways she will disembowel you with a ten blade. All I'm saying is you hurt Meredith again, I'm scrubbing in...." Movement at the end of the hallway drew Mark's attention.

Incredibly pissed, Derek moved forward. He wasn't letting Mark off the hook, and he wouldn't be ignored. "Just how fond of Meredith are you?" Derek looked for a flat surface to set his coffee so he could grab Mark by the neck and shake him hard. Preferably against the wall. "What have you been doing...?"

"What have I been doing with Meredith after you walked away from her and off into the sunset with Rose?" Mark shook his head. "Look, just worry about how you're going to make it up to Meredith for all that crap you put her through, and if she's going to let you do it." His attention turned again to the far away figure, now growing closer. Tall, slender, elegant and feminine. He knew her.

"Dee!" Mark called out, causing heads to turn. He politely brushed Derek aside so he could move forward to greet his friend. "What are you doing here?" Mark enveloped the older woman in a hearty hug, regardless of her stylish designer suit and high-heeled pumps. "How's my favorite shrink?"

"Mark? Why aren't you in New York." Nonplussed, the mystery woman straightened her suit jacket. "And do you have more than one?"

"He needs more than one." Derek muttered. Surprised at hearing Mark once visited a shrink, he wondered when Mark acquired the one. Unless it was a euphemism for something else…? "Just what kind of a 'working woman' are you talking about Mark?"

Mark backhanded Derek's midsection. "I've been out here for about six months."

"I stopped hearing from you because...?"

"Well, I've been a little distracted." Mark turned to the silently fuming Derek. "Dee, ignore the foot in his mouth, but this is Seattle Grace's neurosurgical golden boy and department head, Dr. Derek Sheperd. Derek, this is Dr. Danielle Nicholas, she..."

"Hello." Smiling, Derek stepped forward to shake hands with Dr. Nicholas. "I'm aware of your excellent reputation, Dr. Nicholas. Welcome to Seattle Grace." Her hesitation was so brief that Derek missed it as her hand clasped his. He also missed the equally brief enquiring look Dee directed at Mark.

"Dr. Sheperd, hello. I've heard a lot about you too."

Derek's surprise at her knowledge of him was genuine as the surprise at hearing about Mark's therapy. "Really? I hope it's all been good."

"I'm sure you'd understand patient-doctor confidentiality." Dee's refusal to elaborate was softened by her cool smile. Derek's grin dimmed as he continued to wonder her about her comment. What the hell did it mean?

Mark chuckled as he nudged Derek out of the way as they followed Dee into the waiting elevator. "So, Dee, are you here for business or pleasure?" Mark pressed the surgical floor button as Derek selected a different destination.

"A bit of both. I have a consult and am catching up with an old friend." Dee trained her attention on the floor numbers above the door. "May I assume you selected the surgical floor, Dr. Sloan?"

"Yes you may, Dr. Nicholas." Mark glanced at his wristwatch. "My shift ends in about 8 hours. Can I interest you in dinner? I can bring you up to speed on all things Mark over a nice juicy steak."

"Could we play it by ear? I'm not sure how the rest of my day is going to unfold," Dee replied. She stopped herself before saying more, and appeared to consider something before leaning towards Mark and addressing him in a softer toner. "Unless you need to talk to me tonight?"

Lifting his coffee cup to his lips, Derek smiled and shook his head, as if telling himself his witty comeback would be too easy. Recognizing the look, Mark leaned past Dee to puncture Derek's happy balloon. "Save it Shep. Keep your humorless bits of humor to yourself. I'd keep all my mental energies fixed on Meredith, if I were you. You have a big mess to clean up."

"Not as big as you, my friend." Derek continued smiling, though with a tightly clenched jaw. "You brought Brian in. You will take him out, or I will hurt you. And I don't need Cristina Yang to do it." The elevator stopped, giving Derek the perfect exit line. And as the doors slid shut, he could hear Dr. Nicholas asking the question 'who is Brian?'

[Thank you for reading.]


	8. Chapter 8

[I appreciate all the alerts for this fic and '_Unforgettable_.' Almost as good as comments! Still - thank you very much. I think this fic will finally wrap up over the next two or three updates. And I'm still not owning GA or its characters.]

Cristina yanked the sweater over her head, tossing it into her locker with a bit of force. "And why didn't I know about this before?"

Shrugging, Meredith stepped into her sneakers, and sat down to tie the laces. "No reason."

"No reason? Your Fairy Godmother magically appears, you keep her existence a secret for weeks, and all you can say is 'no reason?'" Cristina dug around a few items in her locker before coming up with a long-sleeve t-shirt. A quick sniff of each armpit confirmed it could be worn one more time. "I can't believe you just insulted my intelligence."

"It hasn't been 'weeks.' It's only been four."

"That's more than one week, so it's 'weeks.' It's plural. Multiple." Another sniff determined which scrub top completed her uniform. "And stop avoiding the question."

"What question?" Meredith forced her dirty blonde hair into a ponytail before slipping on her white lab coat. She knew she danced around Cristina's curiosity, but she couldn't help herself. She wasn't ready to share Dee with anyone. Even her person. The whole godmother thing still left her dumbfounded. Ellis had cared enough to give her a godmother? Someone the polar opposite of Ellis, who never did 'nice' or waste time on meaningless relationships. Digging through her life and pain with Dee, still a virtual stranger, was seriously messing up the little equilibrium she had left. So what if she cheated by talking to a therapist who had more knowledge of her life than she did? Sifting through everything without tequila and boys was walking a tight rope in hurricane-force winds and praying she didn't slip. And even if she believed in fairytales, Dee's potential to evolve into her fairy godmother really messed with her mind.

"You know what question." Cristina shut her locker, and clipped her pager to the waistband of her scrub pants. "It hasn't changed in the last 15 seconds."

Enough with the deep thinking. She had work to do. Grabbing her stethoscope and pager, Meredith shut her locker door. "Gotta go, time for rounds."

"Meredith!" Cristina followed Meredith out into the hallway.

"Rounds, Cristina. We have rounds."

Cristina fumed as Meredith disappeared into the hallway crowd. She knew there was much more to the story than what was being told. And she'd get the full story.

Meredith almost hugged Dr. Bailey when her assignment landed in her lap. She was with Sloan for the day. She wasn't up to dealing with Derek today. Or his nurse. Just walking past any nurses' station gave her a near case of the projectile vomiting. Grabbing Sloan's charts had been a minor ordeal, forcing Meredith to take refuge in a nearby seating area to review their contents. Opening the first chart, Meredith began to read, while the back of her mind hoped Mark kept his Derek-defending to himself.

"Grey!" Mark threw out a greeting. Seating himself next to Meredith, he set his cup on a table and reached for a patient chart from the stack.

"Dr. Sloan."

"Keep an eye on Cannon. His mentoplasty was yesterday, and I'm concerned about the swelling. It's not reducing as it should." Mark commented, passing the chart to her. "Oh, and thanks for the espresso."

Meredith accepted the chart. "Chin job. Cannon. Post-op swelling." She scribbled in her notebook, her attention not wandering from it. "You're welcome, I guess. But don't thank me."

"It's on your tab." Mark grabbed another chart.

"I so wish you hadn't started that." Meredith grumbled. "You're making me feel obligated." Some arm-twisting of the coffee clerk revealed the story and wallet behind her tab. Ever since, smacking Mark up beside the head was a daily urge. How had a simple favor gone haywire?

"I think that was part of Brian's plan. Have you heard from him?" After Derek's fit, Mark phoned Brian and told him to find another female. His attention span was known for being short anyway. With luck the coffee tab refill would be the end of the story. And the end of Derek's ranting and raving at him.

"A couple of times, but I'm not planning on hearing more from him." Brian was history. He had been surprisingly nice and witty, but didn't spur any interest on her part.

"So I'm out $200 bucks?"

"You're out $200 bucks." Meredith flipped a page. "And I don't want to hear it."

"Hear what?"

"Your Derek-defense line of bull. Not today."

"Meredith, he didn't really show her the house plans." Mark sighed, still feeling incredulity at being asked by a blonde nurse if he had seen the same house plans Dr. Sheperd had shown Rose. He walked away from the question, the thirst for gossip, knowing Derek wouldn't have shared the plans with her. Not intentionally. But it sounded like his current incredibly stupid behavior. Like kissing a meatloaf slinging, sweets chomping nurse. Like walking away from Meredith.

"He what?" Meredith stilled.

"He wouldn't. Not on purpose." The qualification sounded weak even to his ears.

"She saw the plans?"

"Not intentionally." Mark finally noticed the look on Meredith's face. He didn't like it. "Oh, you didn't hear about that." The slow shake of her head confirmed it was news to her.

"Derek showed his nurse and me the same plans?" Just when Meredith thought the ache couldn't get worse, it did. All she needed was another confirmation she wasn't wanted. Not by her mother. Not by her father. And not by the man she loved. She could only hope her godmother didn't follow. "So now he's flashing them to any and all females waiting to see who bites first?"

"Is there any way you can completely forget what I just said?" Mark uneasily tapped his pen against the chart as he waited for Meredith to say 'yes.'

"Nope." She wanted to, though. Tequila and boys would temporarily make her forget. But the memory, like all the others, would still be there in the morning. Meredith sighed, wondering why she wasn't used to Derek disappointing her by now. Was this how her mother felt? The disillusionment sat like several cement blocks around her neck. It was another discussion item for Dee.

[Thanks for reading!]


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